500+Funny Birthday Card Messages, Wishes & Quotes

50

Are you looking for Funny Birthday Wishes? If your answer is in affirmative then you are at the perfect place. After providing a huge collection of Happy Birthday Wishes, we have come up with an article to share hundreds of Funny and hilarious birthday wishes and messages.

Pick any of the following Funny Birthday wishes and send it to your friends and loved ones to make their day quite special. Make sure your birthday greeting should not be too long or boring. There is no better thing to put a smile on your friends’ birthday is to send funny birthday wishes.

Without any further ado, let’s take a quick look at funny and most hilarious birthday wishes and messages:

Funny Birthday Wishes & Messages

For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth, but they were sold out of cave art and dinosaur bones.

A lighter? We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.

If I have to tie you up and swing a light over your head until you talk, I will. Eventually, you’ll spill the location of that Fountain of Youth you’ve found!

Actually, I wanted to get you something super special, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I don’t fit into the envelope.

To my friend on his birthday: I want you to know that I’ve always looked up to you. Yes, you’re taller than me, but I’ve always admired your style and impeccable grooming. By the way, time to trim that nose hair.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity. One of the things I learned growing up with you, is that if you have a dream, you should always chase it. I mean, you still can run in your age right? Nevertheless, happy birthday!

Having you around always made me feel like we will be forever young, yet, you ended up breaking that rule, you grumpy old geezer!

I really hope you brushed your teeth this morning! Because with your age, I’m not sure your teeth will survive until next year.

If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then I’m afraid you missed that train old pal!

Just to be sure, I’m going to bring a few buckets full with water tonight before you light up the candles, don’t want to be homeless on your birthday due to an accidental fire! Happy birthday my friend!

Instead of being sad because you grew up, be happy because you will not be the grumpy old geezer you will become in 10 years! Happy birthday!

So, I always wanted to learn about dinosaurs. Could you share your knowledge with me? I mean, you have probably met them in person! Just kidding, happy birthday you fossil!

They say that at your age, birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say.

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

I don’t know how you do it. You don’t look a year older than 185! Happy Birthday to the best friend, ever!

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Happy Birthday on your amazing day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake. You’re another year older and another year wiser. So put your brain to work and figure out there isn’t no gift for you.

Ageing seems to be the only available way to live a long life said, Kitty Collins. Be glad you’re doing it gracefully.

Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

(written in real small text). You’re not old until you can’t read this writing anymore.

You’re older. You’re wiser. You’re sophisticated. You’re far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents.

Celebration time: Happy birthday, you old bag! I have trouble wrapping my head around these birthdays we continue to have.

I have trouble wrapping my head around lots of things. Like, why do the most biscuit-headed guys come in the best wrapping?

Happy Birthday to my Bestie. Rhyming makes me testy. I’ll try to make it jesty. Don’t get mad if it’s pesky, but have a zesty day! Hey, I tried.

We’re best friends, so there are certain things I know about you. You’re humble and lavish gifts embarrass you. So,(only to make you comfortable, of course) I’ve limited my birthday wishes to this simple, heartfelt card. Your welcome.

On your birthday, let’s solidify our friendship commitment and the bond we share. We always have each other’s back, right? (I hope so. You’ve got WAY too much “on” me!)

Happy birthday to a loyal friend who looks as cool as he did in high school. You can still rock that tie-dye, AND you’ve hung on to our friendship and your mullet, whether we’re popular or not.

Come on, don’t be like this. You have survived this year. Although you’re older, trust me it’s better than the alternative.

Congratulations on your birthday! Remember Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!

Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.

It’s your birthday, and I must say, you indeed take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!

Don’t feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.

Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit….but check it for wrinkles first!

Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.

An old fart is as good as a new one… Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we’ll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Forget about the past, you can’t change it, forget about the future, you can’t predict it, forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

Forget your past, it’s already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.

I’m throwing you an existentialist themed birthday party. If you’re in the woods, and a tree falls on your birthday, and there’s no one there to see it, are you still a year older? I’ll stay out of the woods just in case.

Why do old guys start growing hair from their ears? On this birthday, I figured you could answer from personal knowledge. While you’re at it, either pull up those dark socks or change from shorts into pants – as a public service.

Friends may come and go, but birthdays just accumulate.

George Carlin said that. Don’t ask me what it means. You wanted something unique for your birthday, you got it.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

Sarcastic Birthday Messages

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

General Funny Birthday Wishes

1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!